People

Most people that I know have stopped talking to me and my family ever since my son died.  Friends have become distant and the topic of him has become taboo.  New people that we meet shy away.

I wanted to thank two mothers who didn't shy away.

I was at the mall with my daughter, letting her play in the play area.  Two mothers were talking and one was holding an infant.  I asked how old the infant was (5 months), and that mother, Karen, asked me which of the children were mine, and then asked a question I'd been dreading "Do you have any others?"

My response was automatic as tears came to my eyes.  "We had another."

So much could be taken from that simple word 'had'.  When They hear that, most people would get uncomfortable and move away.

Karen looked right at me and said, "Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry."

I was crying, but I was so happy that she didn't ignore me.  She and the other mother (Sandra), asked me what had happened, how old he was, what his name was.  I showed them the picture I'd taken a week before he died.  They told me how handsome he was.  It felt so wonderful to share him with others that didn't even know me, but I knew that it would feel better to share memories with those that had some of him as well.  I asked some friends and family to send me their memories of Atticus.  Two people responded.  Only two.

Sandra walked me to my car when we left, giving me a hug, and she told me that she understood the loneliness that comes after loss.  She had lost her husband three years ago, and had lost many friends because people just don't know what to say.

So, thank you, Karen and Sandra, and I wish for the best for your families.

And as for those that actually responded, thank you, for finding the words to share.  I know that others are thinking about Atticus, but you were brave enough to share them, and that means so very much.